Do you need penis nicknames? Different names for penis? or other funny words for penis?
Let’s face it: Men are fascinated by their own genitalia.
They graffiti penises on walls, doodle them in notebooks, and measure them in locker rooms. It’s only fitting that we have an extensive list of penis names.
Sick of trolling the internet for funny, historical, or international nicknames for your or your partner’s manhood? Look no further! Here is your exhaustive list of nicknames for ‘penis.’
Evolution of the Penis Names
There are so many nicknames for the penis, so, it’s best, to begin with, a timeline of euphemisms. Behold! The evolution of Man’s word for his penis!
Nicknames for Penis from 13th-19th C.
- Bollocks: this term has longevity; it first appeared around 1300AD and is still used by Brits today!
- Pin: (1460)
- Fiddle: (Middle Ages)
- Spindle: (Middle Ages)
- Pulling prick: (Middle Ages)
- Plumtree shaker: (1611) usually ‘plum’ referred to female genitalia. Thus the thing that shakes the plum tree applies to the male counterpart
- Knick-knack: (1686) in modern speech, this word refers to a useless or superfluous object; the 17th C. usage is not far off
- Silent flute: (1720) a cylindrical object… hmmm, wonder how they came up with this one?
- Doodle: (1785) Yankee Doodle? A patriotic nickname for the proud American penis
- Dick: (1836) commonly heard and used as a derogatory term for a mean dude
1890s: A veritable Renaissance in penis nicknames
- Abraham: Biblical patriarch, or “Father of many nations.”
- Arse-opener
- Arse-wedge
- Athenaeum: denoting the Temple of Athena, or an institution which houses knowledge like a library or university
- Baby-maker
- Bayonet
- Beak
- Beard-splitter
- Bedfellow
- Belly-ruffian
- Best leg of three
- Billy-my-nag
- Bludgeon
- Bob-my-nag
- Brat-getter
- Bum-tickler
- Bush-whacker
- Butcher
- Captain Standish
- Child-getter
- Chink-stopper
- Concern
- Cony-catcher
- Copper-stick
- Cracksman
- Cranny hunter
- Cream stick
- Cuckoo
- Customs officer
- Cutlass: a type of short sword with a curved blade, used by sailors
- Dard
- Diddle
- Dingus
- Dolly
- Dr. Johnson
- Enemy
- Eye-opener
- Father confessor
- Flapdoodle
- Foreman
- Fornicating engine
- Fornicating member
- Fornicating tool
- Jacob
- Lance of love
- Langolee
- Leather-dresser
- Leather-stretcher
- Life preserver
- Little davy
- Live rabbit
- Lobster
- Lodger
- Love dart
- Love staff
- Lullaby
- Manroot
- Master of ceremonies
- Meat skewer
- Merrymaker
- Milkman
- Mole
- Nebuchadnezzar: an ancient king of Babylonia
- Nimrod
- Nippy
- Pee-wee
- Quimstake
- Skyscraper
- St. Peter
- Tentpeg
- Tickle-faggot
- Timothy tool
Penis Names from the 1900s
- Ducey
- Swelling
- Sweetener
- Redcap
- Majesty
- Charmer
- Champion
- Arm
- Dodger
- Ding-dong
- Aleck
- Whanger
- Baby-fetcher
- Axe
- Nightstick
- Joystick
- Dingbat
- Gospel-pipe
- Drill
- Dingle
- Corporal
- Hot member
- Pencil
- Wee-wee
- Goober
- Cob
- Hot Dog
- Banana
- Soupbone
- Okra
- Family organ
- Mule
- Dornick
- Ham-bone
- Pee-pee
- Patootie
- Old boy
- Crumb
- Ambassador
- Organ grinder
- Whang
- Tater
- Putz
- Bald-headed sailor
- Weiner/Weeny
- Toothpick
- Tonsil Tickler
- Roger
- One-eyed rattlesnake
- Skin flute
Literary/Classy Penis Nicknames
Perhaps you’d like some polite, literary terms for your penis. These are excellent for use in erotic literature, love letters or sexting between logophiles.
- Cock: phonetically pleasing; falls nicely between the sexy rake and gallant gentleman
- Length
- Member
- Prick
- Rod
- Pud
- Jimmy
- Knob
- Lad (Ireland)
- Langer (Ireland)
- Love muscle
- Manhood: the most polite term of them all
- Membrum virile: Latin for ‘virile member’ for all those academics out there
- Phallus
- Shaft
- Tadger (UK, Australia)
- Yard
Raunchy/Funny Names for Penis
If the previous lists of nicknames for penis didn’t make you laugh, here are some funny penis nicknames that will. Or, they’ll just gross you out.
- Womb broom
- Womb Raider
- Weapon of Ass Destruction
- Vlad the Impaler
- Uncle Reamus
- Trouser Snake
- Tan Banana
- Sex Pistol
- Russell the one-eyed muscle
- One-eyed monster
- One-eyed trouser trout
- Rumpleforeskin
- Richard and the twins
- Purple helmeted warrior of love
- Puff the one-eyed dragon
- Prince Everhard of the Netherlands
- Pleasure Pump
- Moby Dick
- Lord Hardwick
- Long dong silver
- Lap Rocket
- Knobgoblin
- King Dong
- Justin-in beaver
- Herman von longschlongenstein
- Heat seeking moisture missile
- Frank n’ beans
- Fuck puppet
- Excalibur
- Energizer Bunny
- Disco stick
- The Dicktator
- Cocktapus
- Clam hammer
- Cave hunter
- The blue-veined aristocrat
- Atomic turtle
- Action Jackson
- Mutton dagger
- Yogurt slinger
- Meat scepter
- Wedding wrecker
- Spam javelin
- Tuna torpedo
- Dora the explorer
- Vagina miner
- Jurassic Pork
- Tiny Tim
- The bone ranger
- Woody Womb Pecker
International Slangs for Penis
Don’t like any of these English nicknames for penis? Try slang for ‘penis’ in another language! Words for penis around the world:
- Piel: (Afrikaans)
- Chin-Chin: (Japanese)
- Lao Er: (Mandarin)
- Lu: (Shanghainese)
- Petter-Niklas: (Swedish)
- Ptak a vejce: (Czech) bird and eggs
- Skaufi: (Icelandic)
- Zip: (Sudanese)
- Spaetzle: (German) noodles
- Pica: (Brazilian Portuguese)
- Pinto: (Spanish) small penis
- Mulkku: (Finnish)
- Zayyin: (Hebrew) pronounced like ‘Zion,’ which leaves room for plenty of puns
- Dhanda: (Hindi) stick
- Boga: (Bengali)
- Isin lulik: (Tetun/East Timor) magic or holy body
- Bite: (French)
- Chlen: (Russian) member
- Cazzo: (Italian)
- Uberaffengeil: (German) “super monkey horny.”
- Quadibun: (Arabic)
- Brocos: (Pidgin – Nigeria)
Here are a couple of nicknames for guys with big dicks: 100+ Jaw-Dropping Nicknames For Guys With Big Dicks
What a list of gems! Or, should I say jewels? We all want to know what happened in the 1890s though… Maybe the English were becoming a little less prudish around that time.
Do you have any good nicknames or slang for ‘penis’? Comment below to tell us what we missed.
Wee Willy
Winky
The Cervix Sentinel
“Manhood: the most polite term of them all”
Actually, no. This is very transphobic and will only make you look like an uneducated bigot.
How ’bout “love club” ?
• Toothless Mole-Rat
• Hairless Ferret
• Veiny Beef Whistle
And, my favorite “dad joke”-
• UNID VEYEaggRUH
BAHAHAHAH-MUAHAHAHAHA
For all three parts of a man’s junk, “Spirit, Opportunity, and Saturn 12” -(change the number to fit your ‘proclivity’). Also, ‘pillar of creation’ (for you astronomy buffs out there). Horn-O-Plenty, Empire State, Hazard Cone, rolling pin, cudgel, pleasure nozzle, Big-Bad-John, Paul Bunyan, tree trunk, Butt Pirate, ‘the intruder ‘, ass burger, Cyclops, titan, colt45, golf club, and drain snake.
Typo… Burgler.
3 inches of throbbing madness…lol
my ex named him trouble
pigsticker dink dinkee donger kingkongdong
Hot Rod
Biggs
Roddy
I must say that I am shocked “Hot Rod” wasn’t on the original list
Healing Rod, Fat Frank, Gut Beater, Throbbin Robin, The Cure, Ass Master, Cunt collaborator
I have a friend who’s name is, no joke, Harry Wong!!!!
I once seen his-you know what- and I call it…
a lil’ Hooded Terrorist,
hiding in the forest.
(Small/uncircumcised penis in a massive bush)
Oh and don’t forget “schwartz” from Space Balls! As in “I see your schwartz is as big as mine”.
Purple headed yoghurt slinger
One eyed trouser snake
Pocket rocket
Chicken from “choke your chicken”
Cock rocket
The immobilizer (girth)
Cockgobbler(female name)
3mm defeater
The one eyed wonder worm
Fat Elvis
Jemson, dillywhacker, pecker.
Religion
As in “His shorts were so tight you could see his religion.”
Sir Lancelot
Another couple that come to mind
Pink Whistle
Slit- Splitter
Fanny Tapper (In the rest of the world Fanny =Vagina)
Clit Hunter
Male Brain holder
Cervix Tapper
Richard not Dick, Dick is short for Richard
the good ole CLAM DIGGER or the FEAR SPEAR or even the GOOCH POOCH
PECIFIER(CHUSNI)
Vitamin D
Sick lol
My husband calls his Secret.. because it’s strong enough for a man but made for a woman..lol
Toothless Mole-Rat
Hairless Ferret
UNID VAHagRA
I’ve heard a funny one is UNID VAHagRA hahahahahaha not sure if you’ve ever heard of it lol pmsl lmfao rofl lmao
lol-like this!
Bulbous Bluebain
Oh…marry me MAXX?
Hippo
My bf had it pierced when he is wearing it it looks like a hippo
dinker
Pegasus
Ass -auger
SIR MASTER HUNGUS MAXIMUS…THE “SUPREME OVERLORD IMPALER”…AND TRUE DESTROYER OF QUEEN VIRGINIOUS VAJEELIUM OF VELVETICUS (fallen mother to the late PRINCESS ORGAZMIA of POONTANGUS..
~also known in some circles as ….
“LORD THICKEN LONGSWORD”…The Well Endowed Leader of the “SCOURGE of the EVIL~GURTH”…KNOWN FOR STRETCHING FEAR (FAR AND WIDE) WITH JUST THE TIP OF HIS MASSIVE SWORD..
BEHOLD LORD HUNGUS~~THE ALLMIGHTY SHAFT OF THE GODS!!!
Überaffengeil is not a word for penis, it’s an already old slang for something awesome.. so you can say my dick is überaffengeil, not my überaffengeil is awesome
NICE… HOW BOUT *** HEAT SEEKING MOISTURE MISSLE?
Mr. Happy
ticklier Big Dipper
I call mine Salvador.
It’s and D&d thing.
D&d thing? Lmfao Salvador? more like hard no more.. d&d should be ddd don’t do no dicken…
The kraken it rises from the depths
Hi –
Spunk Trumpet
Piss pump
Skin flute
Mayo fountain
Can you hear the drums?
Spunk Trumpet
Ham bone
One Inch Punisher
Pink Flute.
Bald Ferret.
The Wedge.
Single Barrelled Pump Action Shot Gun.
Hand Warmer.
Quarter Pounder.
The Brain.
Baby’s Arm.
The Poker.
Nice list, Wilfieboy! : )
lMAO
John Thomas seems to have been left out – quite surprising as it’s in reasonably common usage!
Stick pussy
When my gf was beginning in nursing school and learning the names and locations of all the bones in the body, she said that she wanted one more in her body, so we came up with the name “Number 208”.
how bout hickory DICKory dock
Hickory dickery COCK
Blue Waffle Cooker
Tommy Tucker
And what happened to Tomopolus?
Pork sword
Luncheon truncheon
Trouser snake
cockasaurus
Honey rod
hot rod
mine
Skadadool flap doodle
Growing up with four brothers you got to hear a lot of funny things they would often shit stir each other with. One that I can distinctly remember was it was often being referred to as The Big Blue Vein Custard Chucker.!! Which I thought was both creative and pretty funny. It was their way of saying that one of them had received some action.,
How ’bout “boys’ club ?”
First floor icicle
Lower horn
Javelin
Bologna baton
Omg
Tooo many to choose
But 1 does cum to mind
?????
BEEF TORPEDO?
Giraffe chocker
This is fun! A few more. From girls night/divorce celebrations/bachelorette parties and just wives sharing a few names for hubby and ex-hubby (some a bit mean):
– “Hermie” (from god Hermes- among other attributes, the god of fertility)
-“Smeggie”, “Cheesecake Factory” (ex-wife’s term for ex-husband who is uncircumcised)
-“Mini Meat”, “Microsoft” (same wife as above)
-“Flopper”, “Wonder Boy” (from a lucky wife who has well-endowed husband)
-“Mr. Peters”
“Smeggy Cheesecake Factory?” And what should an ex call his ex’s hoo haa? Bloody hatchet wound? Clitter litter dispenser? Don’t insult an intact man unless you’re ready to hear about the secretions YOU produce.
Protein slurpie maker
“The little fireman” (for circumcised guys- from “All of Me”, Steve Martin movie)
“Tony the tonsil tickler” (if you guys are lucky to have a great wife)
“Microsoft” (for computer geeks who are, um, less than average)
“Lollypop”, “Tootsie Roll”, “All day sucker” (see above, second listing)
“Anteater” (for uncircumcised guys)
“Peter the Great”
STEEL JUSTICE…LOL
Baby turtle
Dear yanks; bollocks is a British nickname for testicles.
Big Dick Daddy from Cincinnati
Cunt destroyer
Me? His name’s Sammy.
Stanley, my Power Tool
Sorry, but in the UK, Bollocks actually refers to the testicles.
When roleplay is the sexual fancy for the evening, my lady who fell in love with Russell Crowe in Gladiator, likes to dress up and bring that ancient Roman theme into the bedroom. As we touch and converse, she likes to refer to and address mine fruit of the loins as Penis Carniverous Maximus
Beheaded tennis racket
(That’s all I got)
Big dong daddy
Slide ruler
Purple Headed womb ferret
Custard Chucker
Spam Javelin
The midnight train
Magic Johnson
Kontol – Indonesian Javanese dialect
Titit – Indonesian, idk which dialect is this, but i always use this word when i was a kid.
Lil’ Weenie
2 stroke power cock
Cocktail
Tiny Weenie Beaty
What am i doing here?
Why this thing exist?
Why are we exist?
Caprisun straw in my juciepack
Solid snake
Clam slammer
this is the best page I have ever found in my nearly 20 years of using the internet.
2mm Peter
Cock thistle
Gut buster, cave creep…. That’s off the top of the head
Long Shlong
&
ちんこ (Chinko) – Japanese
they are beauties in more ways than one. They multitask in allowing a bodily function as in voiding and they give pleasure to a woman. They’re absolutely amazing in that they can go from flaccid to hard in less than a minute. Women have nothing on their body that can do that with as much aplomb. Uncircumcised men are pinker on the glans and are more sensitive in lovemaking since the foreskin protects all the sensitive nerve endings from rubbing against underwear and desensitizing the head. Most of them aren’t pretty as neither is the scrotum but penis is an ugly name for something that can do so much. I never call it that. I think it a demeaning name and should be changed to something that fits it. I call them Beauty.
Excuse me? I believe our vaginas can both moisten themselves, constrict and massage internally, stretch to accommodate and clench as well, it cleans it’s self, it can stretch to the size of a child’s entire body and then return to it’s original size, I’d honestly say most people in the entire world would disagree with your statement that ‘women have nothing on their body that can do that with as much aplomb’ lets not even speak of our breasts, which are both soft, smooth, warm, the nipples can go from soft and pliant to stiff and firm with arousal, both offering sexual gratification and stimulation as well as producing milk and colostrum which alone can feed children, treat and cure conjunctivitis and most topical skin infections. Try again with all that.
Well Said..that Woman !!
My ex had gorgeous looking cock, amazing looking thing it was, I couldn’t help but give it a strong name, a name it deserve, thus I named thee (drum roll) ,..,.,..,.,. COCK ROGERS !!!
I call mine Zaza Pachulia.
Half inch horror
1 inch wonder
Didgeridoo meat and two veg lol
Meat twinkie or bologna pony
BUSTER Van Twinkle
Wet Noodle
Ok a a mom we had a son..my daughter was 4 at the time and watched me change his little diaper. As she looked down she said..”mom it looks like a upside down cupcake”!! And so it was named cupcake!! Lolol he is 7 now n he named it ding a long but was cupcake for years.. kids rock
Broken Leg
Cream Puff
Dongle
Dipstick
For one’s manhood in general, the “mixed grill” (sausage and potatoes)
Debel sochen hui – Bulgarian dialect
Stick
I call them ice screws, straight shafts, whacker packer, pogo stick, pony, Man O War or Seabiscuit.
I recently received a text asking which dinosaur was my favorite. Attached to the text was picture of the sender in his dinosaur print boxers with his dick hanging out. I decided to get creative and came up with a new dinosaur to send as reply.
Phallusaurus Rex
I think it’s pretty clever. ?
Porridge cannon
Willy – United Kingdom
Pau
Brazilian nickname
I was told the English call him Willy
We do! ?
I heard some people call it Mr.Torpedo if you’re on a submarine
Beef Erikson
Purple Headed Jungket Pumper
0 inch virgin god
big dong
Yogurt Slinger! lol
I know, I know… ewwww
but its the funniest name I know for a penis.
Turtleneck Warrior
Aphrodicksiac!
Ricky
Ding 8=>
Gentlemen’s Sausage
stick in a bush
Hey so if any people that know the Dora the explorer the kids show well that means that the kids can’t watch it anymore if it means penis.
Morrocan
Zebi
Tota
Kadib
Zbyeb (to make it look smaller)
Princess Sophia in (how to lose a guy in 10 days) movie
And
Dooll in persian!
Tally whacker
My FRIENDS (it wasn’t me :-)) call it a ‘Dave,’ ‘Patrick’ or ‘George.’
I send you my greatest apologies if your name involves any of those words, or you know someone who has. XD
megAlodong
Being generously endowed, my girlfriend decided to name my cock ‘Gwangie’ after a certain T-Rex from the film of the same name. 50 years on he still rules the valley
Dinky that waht i tell my son to call it…..and my daughter…i told her its called a flower and when i wash her up i tell her all her petles need to ve clean
Very useful
Sledgehammer
How about Vaghammer
Slimer
Pep pay from the movie miltiplicity “she touched my pep pay steve!
Paha love this one
3 centimeter wife beater
Shlong
Cock
One hell of a lover
Baloney Pony
Huey – Russian
Well of course it has its own name we wouldn’t have all our decisions made by a stranger.
You are hilarious
dick
Good article I thought it was very amusing and insightful to how people refer to a part of their body as if it had mind of its own.
Zook
satanic ring fighter braking the titanic
Cocky
Language : Jamaican
Carajo Spanish
Sorry but Bollocks is not a name for a penis, it is plural for a start, that is testicles.
God dam it phill, way to be a right testy little bollock
Ahh but what if your a diphilliac.
Shlong
ding ding and qian nian sha (chinese)
Cuttlefish
ParmaJohnson
Nude wand
Spitting cobra
Millimeter Peter
Big boss
Jonson
Marquez can SING ?
Young dagger dick
Caralho, Brazilian Portuguese
Dr Shlong
Tropic Thunder
misquito bite
The Dark Knight
2 inch punisher
Kunju, Sunni
Language – South Indian
Bubba
Kurčina
Yarak – Türkish
manaconda
Goober
Just named my mans penis “jimmy knob rob brooms the womb’
That’s a mouth full
Exactly
That’s extra
Priest Ass-slayer
You left out the ever popular and widely used, ‘Schlong’. Also, less common but one of my favourites, ‘Meat and 2 veg’.
Well i have a eggplant and people use the eggplant emoji for a penis and i needed a funny name for a penis but i don’t wanna call it that so its now Rumpleforeskin
Call it the root
Mayo bottle
Miracle Whipper
Penis Rodriguez
The hog
You forgot SCHLONG ????
Herman the one eyed spitting german
You mean The Blue Veined Pus Chucker don’t you? or The Purple Headed One Eyed Womb Ferret ? OR ……. The Pyjama Python lol
Pinky and the brain